


Death and Rory: Pizza, Coke, and the Universe Screwing People Over.

by pickwicklingpapers



Category: (technically) - Fandom, Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005), Supernatural
Genre: (or soda if you're american idk), BAMF Rory Williams, Brotp, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Gen, Pizza, Wow, ah well, and, but it's rory, death and rory, death loves his fast food, i feel like he has an internal sassalogoue, should rory be this sassy?, the universe sucks, what do you expect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-24
Updated: 2014-04-24
Packaged: 2018-01-20 16:36:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1517588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pickwicklingpapers/pseuds/pickwicklingpapers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'I'm pretty sure Death and Rory are on a first name basis by now.'  </p><p>Rory dies a lot. Like, a lot a lot. So it makes sense that he and Death start up this epic friendship, full of pizza and coke and gossip. </p><p>Inspired by tardiswanted's post on tumblr, in which Death and Rory are old friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Death and Rory: Pizza, Coke, and the Universe Screwing People Over.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow. Yeah. So doctordonna10 said she wanted a fanfic. I got plotbunnies. Writing happened.

  Rory dies a lot.        

  Like, _a lot_ a lot. 

  It’s not even always his fault. Yeah, so it’s not always the Doctor’s either. Sometimes it’s Amy’s. And there was that one time that he got hit by the drunk driver, but he was only dead for six of minutes, not six months, so does that even count?

   Most of the time it’s quick, painless. (Not like that time that he nearly froze to death/got vaporised by old lady acid and then it turned out that both of those were fake and he’d just died twice for nothing. Talk about a waste of lives.) But sometimes it’s really fucking painful, and he knows that his Gran always told him not to swear, but the frustration can get a little too much. Even plastic roman centurions with gun hands need to blow their tops sometimes. 

  The first time he dies, it’s a little weird. After travelling with the Doctor, though, he’s seen some freaky stuff. So he doesn’t panic. Much. He just sort of looks around at this dark room he’s ended up in and thinks _jesus, would it kill the guy to get some lights?_

  The bony dude in front of says hello, so Rory makes the obvious assumption and asks rather politely if he’s dead. The answer’s positive, which (if he’s being honest with himself) he rather expected, but he’d rather like to get back please because he doesn’t really trust Amy and the Doctor not to screw up the universe without him. They claim to have been fine before he joined up, but he doesn’t trust them. The guy ( _Death_ , Rory’s mind supplies helpfully) asks what gave the game away. Rory wants to make some smartass remark like _‘hmm, I don’t know, maybe the gun that just shot me and the fact that you’re so goddamn pale?’,_ but he doesn’t really want to piss of the guy who’s probably got the power to send him to hell. Not a good move. He might be dead already, but he’s willing to bet that there’re worse things that can happen to a man. 

  They chat for a bit, and Rory’s more than a little bit surprised to find that he’s going to be staying with Death for a while. Also that Death isn’t as posh as he’d thought he’d be, but mainly that he’s going to staying with him for a while. Apparently ‘the universe isn’t through with you yet, Rory Williams’. Rory’s not sure if he should be pleased or run as fast as he can.

   It takes a while, but Rory’s eventually allowed back to the land of the living. Of course, he’s a roman, but he’ll take what he gets because anything is better than being dead. And then Amy and the Doctor show up and he breathes a sigh of relief because he’s saved! And it’ll be perfect and he can go home and have actually food and grease and probably a deep fried mars bar or something really unhealthy and – 

  Amy doesn’t remember him. 

  How can she not remember him? He’s her bloody boyfriend! The Doctor does, but Rory doesn’t swing that way and he’d really like the love of his life to remember him right now, please. Thank you. Once he finally gets the Doctor to figure out that _yes, there’s something fishy going on here because Rory was dead_ , they get straight on with the whole ‘everyone’s trying to kill us’ shit. It’s fun, Rory nearly dies again, Amy does die, the Doctor blows up the universe, they get married, the Doctor’s somehow alive, The End.

   (Rory never manages to bring up the subject of Death with the Doctor, but he’s curious as to what the Doctor sees each time he regenerates. He asks Death the next time he dies, and Death makes him promise not to tell the Doctor because he’d only try and find him, and he could really do without that annoyance in his life. Rory agrees. He gets the feeling that Death’s not someone you disagree with.)

   The next time he dies, he’s part happy, part sad. Sad because hey! He died again! Happy, because Death makes the best goddamn pizza in the entire universe. And the cheeseburgers? Bloody marvellous. They’re on a first name basis now (which basically means that Rory feels comfortable calling him ‘Death’ instead of ‘Mr. Death’, and Death feels able to laugh in front of him. Actually _laugh_.) and Rory doesn’t bother knocking anymore. He just barges in and yells ‘I DID IT AGAIN!’ before grabbing a can of coke – or whatever the deathly equivalent is – and downs half of it before slumping on the sofa, regretting whatever he’s just done that’s resulted in his demise. Death just looks over and hands him a slice of pizza. No comfort, no unnecessary emotions. He’s Rory’s kind of guy. 

  Once, Death lets slip that Rory’s the only one who gets to do this. This whole ‘I died and now I’m not dead yay me’ thing. Apparently most people have to suck it up, or make deals with demons or some crap. Death says he thinks it’s the universe’s way of apologising for continually messing him around. He’s a needed constant, apparently, but the bad guys just don’t seem to understand that.

   They chat. Mostly about boring stuff, but Rory sometimes tells his tales and, in return, Death tells a few of his. There’s some good ones – he’s met loads of famous people over the years (obviously). Unfortunately he won’t confirm whether or not Elvis really is dead or if he’s actually on an island somewhere with Michael Jackson and other musical ‘greats’, but he does have some good tales about Shakespeare. Apparently he’s quite the party-er in the afterlife. He’s got other stories too, about actual alive people. These two morons named ‘Winchester’ seem to feature quite regularly in those. Rory makes a mental note to never let them meet the Doctor. He gets the idea that that could end up with him dying. Again.

   After the whole Angel thing, Rory doesn’t die for a while. Granted, he died so many times in the daysweeksyears before that due to freaky angel mojo that Death just ended up leaving the door open and the fridge fully stocked. It’s kind of refreshing, not dying, although he misses Death a little. They got to be quite good mates. Rory’s especially surprised that he doesn’t meet him when he goes off to fight (Again. How many times can one person live through World War Two?), but it seems like the universe is going to let him live this time. He deals with plenty of dying men, but he comforts them all – both in his capacity as a doctor and a comrade – telling them that it’ll all be fine, he’s done it before, they can trust him, oh – and tell Death that Rory says hi.

   They live for ages, him and Amy. Her as a writer, him as a doctor. He doesn’t like calling himself that, though. He’s not _the_ Doctor, and he still thinks of himself as a nurse. Only apparently that’s not acceptable in the 1950s due to gender stereotypes, so he knuckles down, studies, and becomes a doctor. She writes fairytales and kids love her, and they spend their nights on the streets of Manhatten, looking for a lonely little girl with magic in her hearts.

   They never find her.

   Like he said, they live for ages. But their time comes, as it does, and it seems that the universe has decided to repay him for all those times that it screwed him one over. They get to die together – which is good, because he doesn’t think that he could live or die without her again.

  The room is exactly the same as he remembers it. He supposes it’s hard to get the decorators in when everyone you know is dead. All the same, it’s comforting. Amy looks a little pale, but she’s Amelia Fucking Pond. She’s Scottish, ginger, and perpetually angry. She’s not letting herself get scared off by Death. She’s had a Weeping Angels inside her head, for god’s sake.

   “Hey.” He calls, out. He realises that he’s younger now. They look the same as they did when they travelled with the Doctor. Thank god for small mercies, he thinks gratefully. The arthritis was really starting to kill him. 

  Ha ha. 

  He can hear the tv blaring in the other room. He cringes at the sound of Educating Yorkshire. Death always did like his cheap documentaries. He pushes open the door. “Hey Death.” He says, cool as ever. “I brought my wife this time.” 

  “Oh, is this Amy?” Death says, standing up. “I must say, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you. I trust you’ve had a good long life?” He kisses the back of her hand before turning and hugging Rory. He pulls away, resting a hand on his shoulder and looks straight at him. He’s missed Death. The feeling’s mutual it seems. He moves to sit back on the sofa, indicating for Amy to join him. He shoots a look at Rory, one that clearly says ‘ _go and get me a goddamn drink so I can tell you what you’ve missed you beloved moron_ ’. “You know where the sodas are.”

   Rory smiles. It’s true. He grabs three cokes from the ever stocked fridge and collapses next to Amy. “So,” he smiles, passing Death a can and grabbing a slice of pepperoni. “What’d we miss?”

**Author's Note:**

> There'll be another chapter - it's too good an opportunity to miss out the Doctor dying. When/if I get round to it. In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed! In the 'interview' at the back of Summer Falls, Amy says that she and Rory have been looking for 'a little lost girl with magic at her fingertips' on the streets at night, and also that she's a writer and Rory's still medical. I went off that. Hope it worked - also, go read the book. The introduction's perfect. 
> 
> (Get me, I are writer).


End file.
